The Mess You Made Me by Anita Don



“Let’s quit Jason.” Samantha said. She was afraid to look directly into his eyes. But she had to,in order to prove her boldness. There were broken glasses scattered everywhere in the sitting room. The kitchen tap was rushing which made water overflow into the sitting room. The house was a mess.
“Look into my eyes and tell me you don’t love me,”Jason screamed. His jaw was clenched,his face was contorted with anger,and his eyes flared with rage. These emotions would have scared her but not anymore. There was silence in the room. Tears streamed down Samantha’s eyes. She could not believe she had been in this toxic relationship for six years. Six good years!
“You say we’re in love but why are there bruises on our face,why do our eyes speak hatred but we still claim that why we’re in love?”she whimpered. “Can’t you see that we are not compatible?” She screamed.
He could see the seriousness in her now. She has made up her mind,Jason thought.
“W..hhh..whyy?” He questioned. He tried to gather up his emotions but they betrayed him as tears welled up in his eyes. Samantha stood up from the chair and faced the wall. “I’m not going to fall for your tricks again”she thought.
“Answer me.” He spun her round roughly. He held her arm in a tight grip. She winced in pain but it was oblivious to him. Her lips trembled with fear but she refused to give in.
“I am a mess because of you.”
“I lost my dignity,my pride because of you.” She poked him in his chest. “I gave you everything but you made me a w..reck”she broke down into tears. “Just let me go” I beg you. Her voice was croaked with tears.
“There’s a new guy right?”Jason asked. She chuckled which left Jason in a haze. Even if I told you no,you won’t believe it,she thought.
“Yes and he is way better than you.” If this was what would set her free then she was ready to lie.
Jason was taken aback. There was a flash of pain, hurt and agony in his eyes but he brushed it off.
“Leave and never come back.” He said and walked away.

               A BETTER ME

It had been two years since her relationship ended with Jason. Things had been going smoothly for Samantha. Although Jason had married her younger sister and had two children, she was happy for them. People were surprised she never felt any bit of betrayal and jealousy. She even attended the wedding.
Her only prayer was that she hoped her sister was not pretending to be perfectly fine and that Jason was indeed a changed man.
As for her,her life had been blooming ever since she received Christ. She even started a seminar educating people on abusive relationships.
“Will you ever be happy if you eventually leave him?” One of her students asked. Samantha smiled. This was her battle back then.
“I guarantee you that you will be happier than ever,”she said. “Jesus got you covered.” She said, The bell rang.
“See you guys tomorrow.”she smiled and walked to her office. There was this joy,peace,wholeness,love and strength she felt that seemed not to end.
A confident woman she had become.

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Pencilmarks and Scribbles Magazine was founded in 2017 by Clara Jack to be a home for African writers, asking them to come as they are and giving them room for growth. The publication aims to give back to the Nigerian Literary scene for the things it has given us.