failure is the way forward by oluwasikemi ibitoye


My topic for today just came to me; I hadn’t intended to share it, but it would be wrong of me to disregard everything that is and has happened in my immediate environment. With results flying all around, there have been many successes but far more failures.

Anyone who has had firsthand experience with failure can speak on the topic, and I have failed in very glamorous ways, more ways than i care to count. Trust me, I didn’t die, and although I may have wanted to jump off a cliff, I didn’t. When I failed, it wasn’t the end of the world, so it won’t end because you failed.

I don’t blame people for having a difficult time dealing with failure; even if it was expected. No amount of preparation can prepare you for the shock of really failing.

I hate giving pep talks, so I’d be direct and to the point. There are more than a million and one individuals who have failed, and there are many more who are thinking the same things you are.

You are not the first person to fail, and you most certainly wouldn’t be the last. For a short period of time—perhaps a day or two—your friends may feel horrible for you, but they will continue to laugh and enjoy themselves, leaving you to exist in isolation in your miserable world. No offense; it’s acceptable to cry, be angry, and even cuss at the entire system. Holding on to those negative feelings for an excessive amount of time is not a good idea because it will do you more harm than good.

Now, I can say with certainty that not more than 10% of those who have failed have tried again. It took me months to rebuild myself after those horrible experiences, but I wouldn’t change a thing because the upside to failing is that if you do manage to get back up, you’ll be unstoppable because you’ve already faced the failure you were once afraid of and got past it.

To achieve that requires an immense amount of courage. I can’t say for sure that you can do it, so I won’t say you can, but you should probably try.

Getting back up shouldn’t be that challenging if you had the strength to take the risk in the first place. Failure is temporary defeat and there’s always a lesson to be learnt from adversity (third principle for Outwitting the Devil according to napoleon Hill’s Outwitting the Devil)

If I didn’t offer advice on how to recover from failure, this wouldn’t be relevant. I just have one piece of advice: always look for the silver lining. The good and the bad are balanced, I think, and if you look hard enough, you’ll find an equal amount of success for which to be grateful. It’s difficult, sure, I know. Even if it’s the smallest thing, it’s still there.

In conclusion, even if you believe you have reached your lowest point and cannot fall any lower, you can. So be thankful for what you have, take what you’ve learned, and go on. There are several inspirational sayings about failure, but if I failed, I wouldn’t want to hear them. You could research motivational quotations on Google if that’s what you need, but I’d kick you out if you

came to me with them. I believe I’ve said everything that needs to be said. If you’re dealing with temporary defeat, I really do hope you find it in you to get back up with much better luck next time.

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Pencilmarks and Scribbles Magazine was founded in 2017 by Clara Jack to be a home for African writers, asking them to come as they are and giving them room for growth. The publication aims to give back to the Nigerian Literary scene for the things it has given us.