A lover woke me up this morning before heading to work

I kissed them and they said

“See you soon”

Soon being anywhere between the next moment if they forgot something in the room, in our life and came back for it

Or the next six months

I am too weak to recount another short affair

But I will try

We rarely have the privilege of remaining in love these days

No memorabilia because “people will see”

We are so timid, so quiet and the version of yourself in that love is relegated to a hungry ghost

Yearning excruciatingly for bones to be restored to their form

To be breathed into and brought back to life

To live out the purpose for which they were conjured

Compromised affection, not certain enough to yell

These days, we fall in love, stay in it for a bit and then we have to stand up

We have to stand up and return to our lives from this fleeting thing that has presented as a distraction

This is the hostage situation we term, dating

And so, this movement thereafter

Becomes an apprehension of the next time we can fall

The next time that hungry ghost can be gifted bones

Can be breathed into by another hungry ghost

An expectancy of our next distraction

And I don’t want to live like this

I don’t want to leave my ghost behind, I want to carry her

I want my whole life to be my distraction

A testament of a mutual fall and continued dwelling

From this hostage situation,

I am desperate to find the ransom

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Pencilmarks and Scribbles Magazine was founded in 2017 by Clara Jack to be a home for African writers, asking them to come as they are and giving them room for growth. The publication aims to give back to the Nigerian Literary scene for the things it has given us.