Trying to Find Me by Emmanuella Abasiekong

My love is no longer unconditional

You must pass the test to get a taste of

how it feels to be loved by me.

The midnight texts, calls or even the

appearance in poetry,

these are things I just can’t give freely.

I have been broken too many times to

even give you a piece of me.

So the little I have left,

Please respect my space and give me peace

Because I can’t keep doing this.

Just like empty pottery

I’m resounding loudly,

everything I need screams back at me

Give me time let me rebuild to who I want to be,

And not give you scraps of my personality,

Or fake it so bad that you’ll see right through me.

I’m setting boundaries for myself

because I know I need help and its

something you can’t give me

In the meantime please don’t wait for me,

When all this is done you might not recognise me,

I might not be who you want me to be,

Your dreams might not be my reality